About this Playlist
Just as you certainly don’t agree with everything I write on this blog, I also have reservations about certain content on the channels I mention here. However, if I selected a video for this playlist, it is because I agree with most of it or understand that it is essential for the debate. And I believe it brings value to me and my dear readers.
A Clockwork Orange is content produced by self-aware narcissists or psychopaths, among other mental disorders. I explain why I recommend this type of content in the text A Clockwork Orange: Should We be Audience to Self-Aware Narcissists and Psychopaths?
Activate the subtitles on YouTube to translate Portuguese videos. Then, select “automatic translation” and your preferred language in the gear menu.
* Videos marked with an asterisk are my favourites.
** Videos marked with two asterisks are considered unmissable. It’s a must-watch!
This playlist is under construction, with weekly updates!
Freedom
This is my favourite HG video and definitely one of the best on my playlist. It’s a must-watch!
I don’t want to give any spoilers because how HG builds his reasoning is essential to understanding the message fully. Therefore, I highly recommend that you watch it. I’ve already listened to this video dozens of times and would like to share some advice on the subject if you allow me to.
Most victims never completely free themselves from their narcissists, they can’t truly cut the emotional ties, even if they distance themselves or break off the relationship. One of the main reasons is that they don’t accept the truths that HG presents here.
It is impossible, with the mind of an empathetic person, to absorb what goes on in the head of a narcissist, psychopath or toxic person. Therefore, we need to understand everything we experience and the red flags we ignore with the eyes of logic, of syllogism, not of the heart.
The problem is that “emotional thinking,” the emotions up there, prevents us from reasoning clearly. That’s why it’s so important to establish a solid No Contact—or at least Low Contact or Grey Rock, when eliminating the narcissist completely from your life is not possible. Only then, after a few months of distancing, will emotional thinking give way to reason, and the penny will finally drop.
When this happens, you may lose faith in humanity. You may even have trouble getting out of bed for a few days. A lot will go through your mind, a lot of memories and ruminations.
All those “roller coaster” relationships you’ve lived throughout your life, full of mind games, hot and cold, triangulation, intermittent reinforcement, silent treatment, ghosting, mirroring, subliminal messages, provocative hints, backhand compliments, indifference, neglect, passive-aggressive rants disguised as tough love, etc.
Not to mention those who have experienced betrayal, sabotage, smear campaigns, and verbal or physical abuse, which is much worse than all of that. Then, the happy moments that you thought were genuine will turn to dust in the air. But at least now everything makes some sense.
The sadness and grief will be almost unbearable. It will feel like you’ve been hit by a bus. Or rather, you’ve been hit by a train, as we say here in Minas Gerais, my state in Brazil. No one said it would be easy. And that’s why I call this type of content A Clockwork Orange.
However, as a philosopher whose name escapes me now said, on one side, you have reality; on the other, you have nothing. At least, after the penny really drops, no toxic person, no narcissist will play with our feelings anymore.
How to Mentally Disconnect from a Narcissist: The Search for Freedom – React Post**
This is my favourite video on Simone Velloso’s channel. And it’s my favourite Brazilian video on the subject, too. It’s a must-watch!
Since it’s in Portuguese, I wrote a reaction post for you, with a summary of her central ideas plus my comments on the subject.
Cerebral Narcissists
Cerebral Narcissists: Smart is Not a Virtue – Video React Post**
This is my favourite video on Doctor Ramani’s channel. It’s a must-watch!
Narcissistic Supply
Learn more on the post Narcissistic Supply: The Fuel of a Narcissist’s Life.
This is one of my favourite videos by Sam Vaknin. It’s a must-watch!
In it, Sam elaborates his vision of what narcissistic supply is, going through the forms of supply, the types of sources – human and inanimate, what the narcissist feels when receiving supply, etc. He makes some fascinating statements, such as the claim that narcissistic supply would be the first form of attention economy.
Sam also highlights how we live in a narcissistic society, giving as examples of con artists and online self-help coaches. Finally, he addresses the narcissism of the elite and the ignorance of the masses. I love this video, but it is A Clockwork Orange content. So, be prepared for brutal honesty and politically incorrect statements.
Narcissistic Supply 101. In this video, Ramani elucidates the main aspects of the dynamics involving victims of narcissistic abuse as sources of supply. She also addresses the objects that supply the narcissist, such as luxury goods and money. Highlights include Ramani’s excellent analysis of the mother ship of narcissistic supply: social media. Finally, she discusses narcissistic dynamics in the workplace.
Excellent video in which HG describes how the narcissist obtains supply (fuel) in a cycle of narcissistic abuse with six phases: seduction, devaluation, respite, preventative hoover, benign hoover, and malign hoover. Warning: This is a Clockwork Orange content!
As far as I can remember, it was while watching this video that I had an insight into the impact of narcissism on my life. No joke, I felt a chill run down my body, and my vision went black for a few seconds. I explain all of this in more detail in the text How (and why) did I find out about narcissism? Please turn on the subtitles with automatic translation, because it is a video in Portuguese, but I will provide a summary below.
Simone explains one of the leading theories for the formation of a narcissist. First, probably there is a genetic predisposition. Second, the creation of a false ego. This false ego would be a way for the narcissist to deal with situations of psychological abuse in childhood. The false ego, powerful and indestructible, protects the narcissist from suffering. The false ego tells the narcissist that he is better than everyone else.
However, since this false ego has no connection with reality, it needs “food” from external sources that validate this false ego and make it seem real. Every emotional charge that the victim provides to the narcissist is supply and keeps the false ego alive.
In order for the narcissist to feel good, he needs to feel superior. So he diminishes and eventually destroys the victim, as a way of exercising dominance and control. When the victim is depleted, the narcissist then accesses his other sources of supply. And when the victim recovers, the narcissist comes back to suck more again.
The narcissist needs someone to inflate his ego all the time and reaffirm to him how everything revolves around him and how life doesn’t happen without him. A person who doesn’t validate this inflated image he has of himself is no longer an interesting source for the narcissist. But the figure of the narcissist will continue to haunt his former victims because he is hungry. And he may return, not because of the victim herself, but because of the type of supply she provided.
This is why it is so important to adopt No Contact or Grey Rock and stop providing emotional responses so that the narcissist leaves the victim alone and goes looking for supply elsewhere.
No Reply to Messages
Narcissists often adopt no reply as an automatic behaviour: their default is not to respond to you. In this video, HG gives us the real deal about why narcissists think they don’t need to be polite to you and feel entitled to their arrogance.
It’s not always because they’re using no reply to assert “superiority,” to devalue you, to “train” you when you criticise them, or to give you the silent treatment.
The fact is that they don’t consider that they’re ignoring a person behind the online message. To a narcissist, you’re not even a person! You’re a thing, an appliance, a source of supply. So they feel comfortable about not replying.
Of course, most narcissists are not self-aware. So they come up with unsophisticated rationalisations because they need to keep believing they’re a good person: “I get too many emails,” “I don’t have time,” “I don’t know this person well.”
In addition to the objectification of human beings, HG presents other interesting “justifications” for the no reply that I hadn’t thought of before. And they make perfect sense. Check out this excellent video! Warning: this is a Clockwork Orange content.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when someone disappears out of the blue. The “ghost” vanishes without giving any clue that the relationship is ending or explaining anything after the breakup. It is also common for the person who was abandoned to be blocked from all social networks and messaging apps so that they cannot contact the “ghost.”
Ghosting 101. Ramani analyses this phenomenon from the perspective of narcissism since many narcissists ghost frequently. She also emphasises the importance of not confusing ghosting with No Contact: when the victim decides to stop contact with toxic or narcissistic people. This could not be considered ghosting because, in these cases, the victims have probably had several previous conversations showing their dissatisfaction with that relationship. Therefore, they did not “disappear out of nowhere”, when everything was apparently “fine”.
Not everyone who ghosts is a narcissist. There are other reasons why a person may disappear, such as difficulty dealing with conflict or the feeling that it is better to say nothing than to hurt the other person with the truth.
First of all, I would like to point out that ghosting someone is very rude, even if it is a narcissist. And this applies to any relationship: romantic, professional, social, familial, etc.
If the narcissist or toxic person sends a message asking why we disappeared, I think it is better to respond to the message, explaining succinctly and politely that the relationship is over. We should only disappear if they do not accept the “no” and start a stalking process.
However, in some cases of more dangerous narcissists or victims who are already in feeble mental health, ghosting may be an acceptable way to end the relationship.
In these cases, it is good to know what to expect. And this video establishes very likely scenarios. I believe these scenarios can also come true when the victim escapes, even if it is not through ghosting.
The first reaction of a narcissist is to think that you are playing “games” and that you disappeared because you want them to contact you. In other words, the narcissist does not believe that you are really serious and want to end the relationship forever, but rather that you are “playing hard to get”.
In some cases, the toxic person leaves you alone and never hoovers you again. They may interpret that they “won the game” since they did not contact you as you “wanted”.
The second reaction is anger. When they realise that you have turned the page and moved on with your life, they feel “narcissistic injury”. After all, narcissists think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread.
The third reaction is “bargaining”. The narcissist may start telling you everything you want to hear. Cristina does not mention it in the video, but one way to do this is through subliminal or crypto messages on social media. The narcissist does not necessarily get in touch directly. Therefore, never look at the narcissist’s social media after the breakup.
Finally, the fourth reaction is the most dangerous: revenge!
Therefore, if you have ended a relationship with a toxic person who is probably a narcissist, never go back on your decision because you will bitterly regret it. We are nothing for a narcissist: it is and always has been about supply.
In this video, HG argues that describing narcissistic behaviour with a term that does not connect it to the larger context contributes to misinformation.
“Ghosting” would be a form of euphemism that makes the victim not realise who they are actually dealing with. Therefore, they can ignore the danger of reaching the “ghost” for answers when they should block them and be relieved.
Next, HG explains why narcissists do not respond to messages often or ghost others. It is an excellent video for victims and empaths to understand the “logic” of what goes on in the narcissist’s head. Warning: This is a Clockwork Orange content!
Hoovering
Zombieing is when someone ghosts and returns a while later, acting as if nothing had happened.
In this video, like with ghosting, HG argues that those who do this type of thing are narcissists. The euphemism of the term, without contextualising it, contributes to misinformation and puts the victim at risk since they don’t know who they are dealing with.
Zombieing would, therefore, be nothing more than hoovering. I agree entirely with HG. I really think it’s a pirate flag slapping us in the face. It’s almost guaranteed that we are dealing with a narc!
It is an excellent video for victims and empaths to understand the motivations and thinking of the narcissist when he “rises from the dead” out of nowhere. Warning: This is A Clockwork Orange content!
Violence and Harassment
Warning: This video is a Clockwork Orange content and contains explicit descriptions of sexual and moral harassment.
In this video, HG argues that the Army’s hierarchical structure attracts narcissistic people. And he explains how the narcissistic military uses the system to abuse power. HG then comments on an article about sexual and moral harassment against women in the Army published in The Times: Army sexual harassment: ‘People wouldn’t join if they knew the truth.’
Some initial clarifications are needed before I give my opinion on the subject.
First, I don’t want to sound disrespectful to the military. I have friends and relatives in the military. My grandfather was a Major in the Brazilian Army, by the way. Unfortunately, it would be utopian to think that we can do without armies.
Second, I don’t relate to the trad wife movement. I am a feminist and progressive.
Third, I am not a “snowflake princess.” As a child, I was a scout. In my adolescence and youth, I was reckless.
I did volunteer work in the most dangerous favela (slum, poor urban areas) in my city. I also ventured into the wild Brazilian forest with mostly male teams. I was the only woman in some works and expeditions that I coordinated or participated in.
When I was young, I also took self-defence and rappelling courses taught by firefighters and former military combatants, both Brazilian and foreign. All the tutors and most of the students in these courses were men.
All of this gave me a brief glimpse of this hypermasculine universe. We will have time to discuss these memories on the blog in the future.
It is a sensitive topic, but I should address these controversial subjects because my life experience can contribute to this debate.
The fact is that today, especially after everything I have learned about narcissism and psychopathy, I think that I took serious and unnecessary risks in my youth. And I regret many things I did, even if they were fun, charitable or sociologically interesting.
Thank God nothing serious happened to me, but it really could have happened. I wish I had had the wisdom in my twenties that I have today in my forties.
My view of women’s roles has changed a lot since then. I now understand that the world we live in today is led by men, made by men, and for men. Especially in certain environments, such as the military.
In addition, there are undeniable differences in sexual behaviour and biological disparities between men and women.
We women are much more physically fragile than men, at least in 99% of cases. And in this type of environment, men are strong physically and mentally. They are essentially warriors, prepared to fight and kill.
I would never join the army, police, firefighters, or the like. I recommend that women think twice before doing so. But of course, I respect women who think differently; I was one of them.
The article commented on by HG is from the United Kingdom, but the situation is even more serious here in Brazil.
There are many “Brazils” and several parallel “countries” within my country. As a professor, I live in a kind of “tropical Europe.” The neighbourhoods I frequent daily are heavily policed and have very low homicide and violent crime rates. The homicide statistics are equivalent to those of the safest countries like Portugal and Canada.
A significant part of the Brazilian population, on the other hand, literally lives in a war zone, which is the Brazilian favelas.
To give you an idea, before going to do my weekly volunteer work, I would call the institution in the favela to find out if there was a shooting that day. We were always apprehensive because, at any moment, we could find ourselves in the middle of a crossfire.
If you want to learn more about this stark reality, watch the movie Elite Squad, inspired by real events reported in a book about BOPE – the Special Operations Battalion of the Rio de Janeiro Military Police.
Warning: these films are absurdly violent. It should be noted that there are no “good guys” in them. Both sides – military police and drug traffickers – act criminally. Those who watch it will understand.
Click here to see the English trailer for Elite Squad I or the image below to watch the trailer for Elite Squad II. I prefer the first film to the second.
In short, we believe we have evolved a lot regarding gender equality. But that’s not entirely the case.
Of course, things got better. A century ago, I would not write this blog and work in male-dominated areas (university teaching, management, IT, etc.). I would not even have the right to vote!
But despite these relatively external changes, patriarchy is still predominant and forms the core of our culture and contemporary global society. We are light years away from a profound shift in this structure. And risking our lives as women will not change social inequality or sexism.
On the contrary, we must recognise our need for safety, protection, and well-being, both physically and emotionally, to effectively advocate for change.
We must approach this challenge with the strategic mindset of the military, empowering us to make a real difference in the world.
